Archived at: http://www.alchemistmatt.com/twas/

Contains 849 versions of the classic poem, including headers from most of the posts and credits when available. The versions range from innocent and cute to vulgar and obscene, so read at your own discretion. I have collected most of these versions by searching the newsgroups using Google Groups and the now retired Deja News. I'd be happy to receive any additional versions you might have.

See the Main Index for the complete contents.

Short Title: IceBowl

   Author:   Greg Quiroga
   Email: Qgreg@nrwpr.com
   Date: 1998/12/24
   Forums: rec.sport.disc

       'Twas The Night Before Ice Bowl
   
'Twas the night before Ice Bowl, and all through the house
The whole place was rockin', even my spouse;
The baskets were planted in the back yard with lights,
For holiday spirit (and to putt nights);
The Juniors were nestled in a pile of sleeping bags,
Dreaming of golf towels to replace borrowed rags;
And my love in her sweats, and I in my 'roos,
Had just shot even on a mini-course of par twos.

See the rest, as well as all of our Holiday Photos (up for grabs) and
other spirited cheer at:
http://www.sfdiscgolf.com/happy_holidays

Have a safe and happy holiday season,
The San Francisco Disc Golf Club

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Short Title: Inflation

The Effect Of Inflation On Santa

   Written by: Dave Sharpe, Tarnation Magazine, 1948.

 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
 How the tinsel was scattered! and twigs by the thousand.
 The stockings were hung by the chimney with care-
 They were skewered with ten-penny nails, to be fair.
 The children, God bless them, were snug in their beds,
 With clothesline to anchor the ankles and heads.

 The Wife in her housecoat, and I clad alike,
 Had gone to cellar to get the new bike,
 When from a dark corner arose such a clatter
 I felt a strong urge to forget the whole matter.

 The wife said go over and open the door;
 I grabbed a stout cudgel and crept 'cross the floor
 And gingerly peered through the glass to behold
 A wee red-suited man, turning blue with cold.
 Suppressing my dire thoughts of a communist trick,
 I flung wide the portal, admitting..... St. Nick!

 Poor Santa came in stamping snow from his feet
 And cursing cold weather and all central heat.
 "Your chimney's too small for a man of my girth"---
 Which shows what the power of tradition is worth.
 I asked him to stay, as the perfect host ought,
 And my gimlet eyes gleamed at the parcels he brought.
 Upstairs in the kitchen, hot toddy in hand,
 Old Santa had both of us folks understand
 That the new station wagon he'd purchased this year
 To replace his eight quaint reindeer
 was the poorest investment he ever had chosen--
 It stalled by our house the engine plumb frozen.

 My wife asked him then if the high cost of living,
 Had interfered much with the job of gift-giving.
 "I'll say so," quoth he. "Why, a plain roller skate
 Is costing me $40.98;
 And the cheapest new belt, since inflation intruded,
 Costs $11.27, all taxes included;
 My labor is raising all manor of hob--
 In fact, this here Christmas is too big a job."

 He talked a while longer, but then had to go
 When a wrecker from town came to give him a tow.
 He left a tin whistle for Joey, our son,
 And a watch for Matilda--I bet it won't run;
 For the Wife, a new apron that makes her flesh crawl,
 And a tie for yours truly completed our haul.
 But I heard him exclaim, as he rolled out of sight,
 "The blazes with Christmas--Tarnation is right!"

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Short Title: InnerCity

Subject:      Inner City Christmas Carols
From:         "Cheri Bogowitz" 
Date:         1997/12/17
Message-ID:   <01bd0a91$17519480$13c644d1@bogowitz>
Newsgroups:   rec.humor



Then there's my favorite rendition of an 
old holiday classic...

          'Twas The night before Christmas,
            And all through the house,
           Not a creature was stirring,
            So I took their stereo.

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Short Title: JapaneseTelevision

from http://www.yomiuri.co.jp/newse/20021219woa7.htm

Televiews: An Xmas ode on the joys of television 
by Yomiuri Shimbun 

Way back in the 20th century, it used to be a Televiews holiday
tradition to annually update the classic ode to Christmas Eve.
So, as a toast to those nostalgic days of yore, here we go again. 

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(with appropriate apologies to Clement Moore 
 and Tetsuwan Dash seen Sundays at 6:55 p.m. on NTV) 

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the land 
Not a program was stirring, the choices so bland. 
The stockings were hung by the TV with care, 
In hopes that St. Nicholas would put something on air! 

The children were nestled all snug in their futon, 
Dreaming of Hamtaro and all those Pokemon 
And Mama in her mittens and I in my cap 
Had just settled down for a long night of SMAP 

When up on the screen there arose such a clatter 
I knew it must be Morning Musume chatter. 
Away to the remote I flew like a flash 
Turned down the volume and switched it to Dash 

Mura--the village all covered in new fallen snow 
Gave a luster of midday to the scene down below. 
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear 
But the TOKIO five and eight ducks, not reindeer 

With a little old person so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. 
More rapid than eagles, those ducks they did quack 
As Santa whistled and shouted ad called the guys by name: 

Now Yamaguchi, Now Matsuoka 
On Kokubun, On Joshima, On Nagase too! 
To the top of the porch, To the top of the wall, 
It is Dash Mura, Dash Mura, Dash Mura all! 

You've done a good job putting up that new roof 
And providing the nation with definite proof 
That by plowing and planting and tending the ground 
In the country, St. Nicholas' gifts do abound. 

His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry 
As he tried the boys' snack and a cup of hot sherry. 
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow 
And the dog and the goats made him laugh: ho! ho! ho! 

Santa had a broad face and a little round belly 
That shook when he chuckled at the stuff on the telly. 
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, 
Determined to check out Dash Mura himself. 

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head 
Soon gave me to know Dash pleased the man in red. 
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work 
Filled the ducks' stockings, gave the boys a few perks, 

Left a bone for the dog, for the goats, heaven knows? 
Then giving a nod, the barn door he did close 
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle 
And away they all flew like the Dash Mura thistle. 

But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, 
"Happy Christmas to all, and your pickles are all right!" 

Well, perhaps that tradition is just as well left back in the 20th century. 


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Short Title: Jazz

From: Denise and Al (boopea1@gte.net)
Subject: A Christmas Jazz Memory 
Newsgroups: rec.music.makers.jazz
Date: 2001-12-20 21:44:56 PST 

A Christmas Jazz Memory
by Don Heckman

'Twas the night before Christmas and the gig was running late;
The prospect for a cool Yule at home wasn't great.
Holidays are workdays in a jazz musician's life,
A chance to make some extra bucks to take home to the wife.

If you want to make a living in the jazz world these days,
You'd better learn to celebrate in many different ways. 
Chanukah, Kwaanza, Ramadan -- you name it.
When there's a tune that sets the mood, you'll have to learn to play it.

The clock slowly turned toward the midnight hour,
As we jazzed up the changes of the "Waltz of the Flowers."
We labored on: "White Christmas," "Frosty" and "Silent Night;"
I wondered if we'd still be jamming "Deck the Halls" at first light.

But we finally got lucky, with the start of the last medley.
The singer mauled "The Christmas Song" (a version Mel would have found deadly),
We did the "Jingle Bell Mambo" and the "Drummer Boy Bossa Nova,"
And wrapped it all up, with a rock "Hallelujah" coda.

I packed up my horn, headed into the night.
Too late to buy presents, even the 7-11s were closed up tight.
Not that it mattered, since the gig barely paid the rent,
And whatever I could afford had already been spent.

I walked through the falling snow, filled with memories of Christmas past,
Of marching bands and football parades, of lighted trees and times too good to last.
And I hoped that my kids, when adulthood beckons,
Would remember their holidays with the same sweet affection.

My footsteps finally led to a warm home filled with silence,
My wife and kids drifting through dreams of happy innocence.
So I sat for a while in the late night still,
Watching snowflakes tumble gently across the hill.

When I suddenly heard a familiar sound in the distance,
A rhythm section churning with swinging persistence.
But this one was strange, something I'd never heard before,
Driven by percussion I can only describe as hoof beats galore.

Then a new sound, one both familiar yet odd,
Called out through the snowfall, like a leader commanding a squad.
"On Trane! On Dizzy! On Monk! On Duke!
On Sonny! On Bird! On Miles! On Klook!"

The next thing I heard was just as amazing,
A set of riffs, hard-swinging and blazing,
Played on an instrument that was brand new to me,
The sting of a trumpet, the silk of a sax, the tone of a bone, all blended with glee.

I dashed to the window to see what was coming,
And was met with a sight incredibly stunning,
What looked like a bright red '57 Chevy,
Pulled through the sky by eight reindeer in a bevy.

They landed in my yard and the driver leaped out;
Grabbing a pack from the back he quickly turned about.
I blinked my eyes at this strange apparition,
His cheeks like Dizzy, his smile like Pops, as natty as Miles, a man on a mission.

"Call me Father Jazz," he said as he came through the door, "musicians are my specialty.
I'll even make a stop tonight with a little something for Kenny G."
Then, opening his pack, he lightly danced to our tree,
Placing presents beneath it, ever so gently.

"There's a drum set for Alex," he said, "that kid has great time.
And a guitar for Allegra, 'cause the songs she writes are so fine.
And the books and the wristwatch you wanted for your wife,
That you couldn't afford, living a jazz musician's life."

This is way too weird, I thought, it must be a dream;
Something like this is too good to be what it seems.
"Oh, it's the real deal," said Father Jazz, with a riff-like snap of his fingers.
"You're on my list of serious jazz swingers."

Moving to the doorway he turned back for a final review:
"And if you're wondering why no box has been left for you, 
It's because your present has already been given.
You know what it is? It's the spirit that makes your imagination so driven."

"Musicians all know that the gift of music is the gift of love.
It's a gift that can only have come from above.
And those non-jazz Beatles had it right, for all our sakes,
When they said, 'The love you take is equal to the love you make'." 

He bounded lightly through the snow to his flying red Chevy,
Blew a celestial riff on his amazing horn -- so heavy!
And urged his team upward with a rallying command,
"On Dizzy! On Bird! On Miles! On Trane!"

As his eager steeds rose high into the winter sky,
Father Jazz called out one last stirring cry.
Looking down with a radiant smile and a farewell wave:
"Stay cool, Bro' and keep the music playing."

Copyright 2000 Don Heckman
Joy, Love and Peace To All.........  D.H.

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Short Title: JeffMacnelly(Shoe)

from the comic strip "Shoe" by Cassott and Brookins,
MacNelly Productions, 12/31/2000.  http://macnelly.com/

'Twas the even before New Year's, as I gazed at the clock...
I was minutes from deadline ... I had writer's block

What should I write?  I pondered in fear ...
A light-hearted column to recap the year?

On Dubya? On Cheney? On Lieberman too?
On Tipper? On Al Gore? Florida's hullabaloo?

Maybe the clintons?  They're never a bore!
Will Bill's new library be an adult book store?

Maybe those wackos on TV's "Survivor"?
That rude nude dud, who was such a conniver?

The Mets were hot, but the Yankees were hotter...
Mayber a story on that kid Harry Potter?

My brain was wrapped like a tightly-wound turban...
So I found in my desk some of Jack Daniel's bourbon!

Then I had a gut feeling, deep down in my belly...
To just blow the deadline, and toast Jeff MacNelly.

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Short Title: Jehovah

Subject:      A Christmas Poem (the truth about christmas)
From:         marposa@usit.net
Date:         1997/12/19
Message-ID:   <67cstn$epc$4@news.usit.net>
Newsgroups:   a.bsu.religion


Twas the night before christmas and all through the land,
Satan was worshipped the way he had planned.
The churches had fallen for one of his lies ,
The kids looked for santa claus up in the skies.
The preacher knew Jesus wasn't born on this day,
 and he knew that the pagans worshipped just the same way.
He knew we should worship with truth and with spirit,
but the buyers and sellers just refused to hear it.
So he stood in the pulpit and passed on the story,
and the whole world did likewise and fell short of God's glory.

But I with my bible and God's Holy Spirit,
wrote this little poem for the honest to hear it.
While out in the world there arose such a clatter,
the people asked the government, what was the matter.
Nobody looked to God's word for the answer,
and the world just got sicker-as with deadly cancer.
So my prayer to JEHOVAH as I pray it tonight,
is for all to flee darkness and run to God's light.

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Short Title: Jesus01


'Twas the Night Before Jesus Came
  Author Unknown

'Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house
Not a creature was praying, not one in the house.
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care
In hopes that Jesus would not come there.

The children were dressing to crawl into bed,
Not once ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And Mom in her rocker with baby on her lap
Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.

When out of the East there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray
I knew in a moment this must be The Day!

The light of His face made me cover my head
It was Jesus! returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.

In the Book of Life which He held in His hand
Was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name;
When He said "It's not here" my head hung in shame.

The people whose names had been written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready He rose without a sound
While all the rest were left standing around.

I fell to my knees, but it was too late;
I had waited too long and this sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight;
Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear;
The coming of Jesus is drawing near.
There's only one life and when comes the last call
We'll find that the Bible was true after all!

Notes: 
According to Doug Anderson (at http://www.magicdoug.com/dougchurches/biblestudies/nightbeforejesus.htm),
several different people or groups have claimed to have 
written this poem, with a few asserting copyright.  
Possible authors include:
 - Herbert Brokering (1977 book "Twas the Night Before Jesus" published 
   by Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis, MO)
 - Audrey Patricia Woolverton: http://www.btmi.org/Christmas/twas.html
 - Stormy Gale: http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Fields/8616/christmas/nightbefore.html
 - Bethany Farms
 - Dianne Frances Donenfeld

For more information, see http://www.magicdoug.com/dougchurches/biblestudies/nbjccontroversy.htm)


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Short Title: Jesus02

Originally published in:
The Durham Herald-Sun
Sunday, December 24, 2000
Section E, pages 1-2

'Twas the Night Before ...
by Serena Sunderland of Durham, NC (age 14)

Twas the night before christmas	
And all through the town,
Every shelter was packed
Not a bed to be found.

Caesar's census sent folks
To the town of their birth,
So Caesar with taxes could
Increase Rome's worth.

On that cold, crystal night
Into Bethlehem came
Two tired people
With their donkey the same.

They had come very far,
Many miles of road;
But there were no beds
For the weary and cold.

Mary and Joseph,
As they were known,
Made a deal to sleep
In a barn made of stone.

During the night
In the soft bed of hay;
Baby Jesus was born,
In the manger he lay

Close by, men in the fields
Guarding their sheep,
Became fully awake,
Some startled from sleep.

‘Cause all of a sudden, 
With a brilliant flash, 
An angel appeared
Wearing white robe and sash. 

"Have no fear!"
The bright angel said, 
"I bring you good news, 
With nothing to dread."

"Today down in Bethlehem, 
In a dark little stable 
The Savior's been born, 
Get there quick as you're able."

Then another brilliant flash,
And the sky seemed to be seared;
A great host of angels,
Singing praises appeared.

"Peace on earth 
And mercy mild, 
God and sinners 
Reconciled."

The angels disappeared
And the shepherds hurried away.
To see the baby that
In a manger lay.

While this was happ'ning,
Far off from the East
Wise men were coming with
Treasures loaded on beasts.

They came into Bethlehem
And searched through the town,
Until they found the stable
Where they kneeled down.

They offered God's son gifts
Of gold, frankincense and myrrh;
Then they told others what
They'd seen and they'd heard.

The first Christmas night
So long ago,
God sent us
The greatest gift we'll ever know.

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Short Title: Jesus03

Originally published in:
The Durham Herald-Sun
Sunday, December 24, 2000
Section E, page 2

'Twas the Night Before ...
by Stephen White of Durham

Twas some weeks before Christmas and throughout our dwelling
I was heard on the computer; mostly pounding and yelling.
The paper was jammed in the printer with ease,
And I smeared lots of ink when I let out a sneeze.

As I turned off the computer a thought hit my heart,
"Couldn't I just buy cards from	our local Wal-Mart?"
Pummeling the machine had made me quite sleepy,
So silently up the steps I began creeping.

I hopped into bed and had just closed my eyes 
When I heard quite a bit of disturbance outside.
I looked out the window, and what did I see?
A genuine homemade time traveling machine.

The device was covered with buttons and lights
And it made our yard look like day during night.
I grabbed my coat and ran out the door,
Not knowing what the machine had in store.

I peered inside of it and who'd I observe
But a brainy-looking fellow. Could it be...St. Irv?!?
He said not one word but began to do his work
He pulled down a lever; the door closed with a jerk.

The driver told me we were about to depart
For a time long ago, long, long before Kmart.
I looked on the dashboard and happened to see
We were descending in time, to shortly B.C.

The machine had stopped in a land far from home
Which was part of the great Empire of Rome.
The townsfolk told me that they were to progress
To the town of their fathers to register for census.

I met two of the people, who were about to be married
But the lady, inside her, a baby she carried.
"I was told by an angel," he said with a smile
"My wife's giving birth to a very special child."

I didn't know these people until I met them again
Later that night, with no room at the inn.
They were Mary and Joseph, and Jesus the babe
Was wrapped in some cloths they brought with them that day.

Later some shepherds were told by an angel
They would find their Savior lying in a manger.
The shepherds told all they met the angel's story
As they rushed on to Bethlehem in quite a hurry.

They walked into the stable and what did they behold?
The Babe in a manger, just as they were told.
It was getting to be late around 11(10 central),
So I told St. Irv it was about time to travel.

We got in the machine and I was in awe
Of the things I had seen, the baby and all.
As we landed at home I quietly entered
And I turned around because of something I heard.

It was an angel saying "Glory to God," and	
"Peace on earth, good will to men."

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Short Title: Jesus04

Date: Wed, 7 Nov 2001 15:46:16 EST
From: JaneillD@aol.com

M e r r y    C h r i s t m a s 

Two weeks before Christmas, and all through the house, 
everyone was stirring, even the mouse. 
Calendars were hung with the utmost of care, 
schedules were packed with gala affairs. 

The children were adding their wants to their lists, 
making quite certain their desires weren't missed. 
And Mama and her VISA and I with my cash 
had just planned our spending for this Christmas bash. 

Then out from the ads there arose a clear calling, 
I read through the papers to see prices were falling. 
Away to the Mall I flew like a flash, 
tore open my wallet and doled out the cash. 

The glitter of tinsel in window displays 
told us all to buy NOW, and dare not delay.  
When what with my gaping eyes should I see 
but a sale -- VCR's and color TV's. 

With the power of  plastic, so easy and quick, 
I knew in a moment this season was licked. 
For who would deny that as soon as I'd pay, 
I could promise my kin a bright holiday. 

Now tinsel, now holly, now ribbons and wrappings!  
Buy garlands, buy eggnog, buy all of the trappings.  
To Hallmark and Sears, to the rest of the mall, 
now charge away, charge away all! 

While I finished buying the gifts for the clan, 
the family continued their holiday plans. 
Now off to their parties and programs they flew. 
With Christmas approaching, there's so much to do! 

And then in a twinkling, I had a quick thought, 
while standing and gazing at each gift I'd bought; 
the sweaters, the CD's, the football and phone, 
Nintendo and Walkman, the clock for our home.  

There's got to be more to this season called joy...
Ah, yes, I remember -- the birth of a boy. 
How soon we forget the real celebration; 
God giving the gifts of love and salvation. 

And so with the season comes possible danger, 
of forgetting the wonder -- the Babe in the manger. 
So let me proclaim, as we start to prepare, 
Jesus Is Born, Spread His Love Everywhere!

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Short Title: Jesus05

Subject:      Another Night Before Christmas
From:         "Ron Myers" 
Date:         1997/11/23
Message-ID:   <65afbd$7bj$1@newsfep1.sprintmail.com>
Newsgroups:   christnet.poetry

Another Night Before Christmas.......

Twas the night before Christmas
And I was uptight.
There WAS something missing.
Felt somethings not right.

The holiday fluff was hung up with care.
Retailers were glad.  For sales goals were there.
I with my bottle.  Wife under stress.
Guests were obnoxious.  A fine Christmas mess.

With Christmas depression, I happen to spy.
A dusty old Bible.  Without knowing why.
Picked up the old book and turned to the story.
Back to the time, of Christmass glory.

The shepherds were watching their sheep in the night.
And LO! Up above a WONDERFUL sight.
The Angels were singing in GLORIOUS praise.
A babe in a manger,  Wholl from sin mankind raise.

And up in the sky.  Beholding afar.
Oer mother and babe, a BRIGHT shining star.
Leaving their flocks, to see that night.
Our tiny Savior, Wholl set evil to flight.

With tears in my eyes, I remembered the reason.
This tiny child, was the cause for the season.
I called out through the house.  And gathered my clan.
And read from the Bible, so theyd understand.

We sang that night.  We worshiped the King.
And we felt the JOY, of what Christmas brings.
We drew closer together.  Filled with His Light.
Merry Christmas to all.  To all a Good Night.

Ron Myers
ronmyerstx@sprintmail.com
 

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Short Title: Jesus06

Date: Wed, 7 Nov 2001 15:46:16 EST
From: JaneillD@aol.com

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, 
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. 
And on goes the story about Christmas Eve 
And the jolly old man in whom we believe. 

Have you even wondered how Santa came to be 
So important to Christmas and to you and to me? 
Well, it all began a long time ago, 
The night before Christ to earth was to go. 

All prepared to make Christ's birth well announced, 
With angels and music and anthems pronounced. 
But alas, all had forgotten in the final rush 
How to make Christ's birthday remembered to us. 

The kingdom was searched for the most excellent plan 
That would help us remember God's gift to man. 
A saintly old fellow, so jolly and gay 
Came up with the best plan that was offered that day. 

He said, "Send a fellow each year at this time 
Who would help people be happy and comfort their minds; 
He could help man remember that God loves us so 
By bringing presents to both friend and foe. 

"He would show by example that true love and joy 
Come only when shared with each girl and each boy." 
Heaven decided that Santa's plan would be just right, 
And Santa was asked to play the part that very first night. 

So from the first Christmas right down to today, 
When one heard the bells jingling and saw the big sleigh, 
They knew it was Santa making his way 
To remind the world of the love Jesus gave. 

So, this night before Christmas when you hear Santa come, 
Remember he's doing it for the love of God's Son. 
Remember that he teaches as did Christ of old 
That to give of one's self is more precious than gold. 

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Short Title: Jesus07

Date: Wed, 7 Nov 2001 15:46:16 EST
From: JaneillD@aol.com

T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE JESUS COMES 

T'was the night before Jesus comes and all through the house 
  Not a creature was praying, not one in the house 
Their scriptures were lain on the shelf without care 
  In hope that Jesus would not come there. 

The children were dressing to crawl into bed, 
  Not once ever kneeling or bowing their head 
And Mom in her rocker with the baby on her lap 
  Was watching the Late Show while I took a nap. 

When out of the East there arose such a clatter, 
  I sprung to my feet to see what was the matter. 
Away to the window I flew like a flash 
  Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. 

When what to my wondering eyes should appear 
  But angels proclaiming that Jesus was here. 
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray 
  I knew in a moment this must be THE DAY! 

The light of His face made me cover my head 
  It was Jesus! returning just like He said. 
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth 
  I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself. 

In the Book of Life which He held in His hand 
  Was written the name of every saved man. 
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name, 
  When He said, "It's not here," my head hung in shame. 

The people whose names had been written with love, 
  He gathered to take to His Father above. 
With those who were ready He rose without a sound 
  While all the rest were left standing around. 

I fell to my knees, but it was too late. 
  I had waited too long and thus sealed my fate. 
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight; 
  Oh, if only we had been ready for that night. 

In the words of this poem the meaning is clear, 
  The coming of Jesus is drawing near. 
There's only one life and when comes the last call 
  We'll find that the scriptures were true after all. 

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Short Title: Jesus08

Date: Wed, 7 Nov 2001 15:46:16 EST
From: JaneillD@aol.com

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS Author Unknown 

'Twas the first night of Christmas a long time ago 
The hillside was peaceful, the moon was aglow. 
The world couldn't know from what happened before 
That men would remember this night evermore. 

The sheep on the hillside--their days journey over 
Were dreaming sweet dreams of a field full of clover. 
The shepherds were watchful while guarding their flock 
The earth was their pillow, the stars were their clock. 

Then all of a sudden, they jumped at the sight 
Of the sky all ablaze with a heavenly light. 
They huddled in fear, then they started to rise 
As the lightening-like flash tore open the skies. 

The heavens were split by the silvery ray. 
The dark disappeared and the night became day. 
And lo, at the end of the rainbow of light 
Appeared then an angel to banish their fright. 

The angel brought news of a birth in a manger 
And bade them to hasten to welcome the stranger. 
For Mary had just given birth to a boy 
Whose coming would bring so much comfort and joy. 

A choir of angels looked down from the sky 
And heavenly voices were heard from on high: 
Peace be on earth and good will to all men. 
The Savior has come on this night, Amen. 

The heavenly angels then faded from sight. 
The sky once again turned from day to night. 
The shepherds all quietly rose from the ground 
And hurried to go where the child would be found. 

As they reached Bethlehem and the inn was in sight 
It led like a path to a soft little bed 
And shone very tenderly on a child's head. 
The child in the manger was sleeping so sound 

His eyes were still closed, as the shepherds stood round. 
Thousands of years would be warmed by the glow. 
Guided by light from a bright shining star 
Came a pilgrimage led of three kings from afar. 

They were dressed in the finest of satins and lace. 
Their complexions were that of an Orient race. 
The three wealthy kings were wise men and proud 
But they went to the Christ child and solemnly bowed. 

They came bearing treasures of incense and gold 
To that sweet little child, still not very old. 
The star in the sky twinkled down from above 
The world was awakened to kindness and love. 

The past was forgotten, the future was bright 
And the spirit of Christmas was born on that night. 

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Short Title: Jesus09

Date: Wed, 7 Nov 2001 15:46:16 EST
From: JaneillD@aol.com

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (scriptures) 
By Debra Coe (c) 1998 all rights reserved 

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house 
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse 
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care 
With thoughts of St. Nicholas and what he'd bring there.   

The children were nestled all snug in their beds 
Without a moment of bowing their heads. 
The scriptures were thrown on the shelves without care. 
Little hope of remembering the precious words there.    

And I with the tinsel and Ma with the lights 
Had prepared for Christmas with no thoughts of Christ. 
We had snowmen and elves and of course Santa Claus. 
We thought we had decorated without any flaws.    

For weeks we'd prepared with lots of traditions, 
Cards of course and so much work in the kitchen. 
We'd been to parties galore all dressed up in frills 
And spent hours at stores to get the best deals.    

The lights on the house were all flashing with fun 
Lots of presents under the tree; we thought we were done. 
We thought not of the needy, nor help to a stranger, 
We thought not of the poor, and not of a manger.     

No angels were singing in our house that night 
We hadn't invited them so none were in sight. 
The real spirit of Christmas was absent as well. 
For only Christ's spirit will make our hearts swell.    

And I wondered that Christmas how it could be 
That the Christmas spirit wasn't stronger in me 
Why Christmas didn't seem as it was in the past 
Why Christmas just came and went by very fast. 

When out of my wondering mind did appear. 
Some scriptures I'd learned as a child so dear. 
Of a loving kind Father who gave His own Son 
God saw all our needs and chose Christ as the one.    

Christ has the power to serve us so well 
Healing the things that can lead to spiritual jail 
I could change if I wanted with eyes that could see 
"Come Follow Me," was His only plea.     

I decided to change and begged forgiveness please 
And asked how to serve Him while down on my knees 
Serve others and do it as if unto Him 
Was the answer I heard in the sound of a hymn     

I rushed from my bed and I got scriptures for all. 
So we could start Christmas just right after all. 
So Christmas day we planed for the months yet to come 
Of people we'd serve and we talked of the fun     

Now Angels are singing in our home today 
We finally invited them to come our way. 
And Christmas is lasting the whole long year through, 
With scriptures, prayer and devotion His spirit grew. 

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Short Title: Jesus10

From: Wayne W. (hww1955@email.msn.com)
Subject: A Christmas Story by Wayne Wastier © 2001 
Newsgroups: alt.christnet.prayer
Date: 2001-12-22 09:14:07 PST 
 
Twas the night before Christmas and I was asleep
The dogs they were barking, but I didn't hear a peep
The children were snug in their silly little beds
With thoughts of presents swirling through their heads
The mrs. was wrapping the presents all night
Hoping not to disturb us with all of her might

Now it is morning and the children awake
They have been good, for goodness sake
Running down stairs they head for the tree
To spy all their presents, from me and from thee
You are sleeping so soundly on the carpeted floor
When there comes a knocking at the front door
A man with rags so withered and grey
Wants a handout on this Christmas day
You took him inside and fed him some ham
He smiled oh so brightly, and said thank you mam
You opened your wallet and gave him a five
He is so happy, to just be alive

Now we are singing and praising our Lord
Thanking him so kindly, for what we could afford
And there with us singing was that dear old man
And a happier group, was not seen in all the land.

Merry Christmas,
From Wayne W.
(by Wayne Wastier © 2001)


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Short Title: Jesus11

from http://www.presbycan.ca/daily/library/before.html

                'Twas the night before Christmas
                        (with a difference)
   
   An anonymous poem, submitted by Jane Anne Waller jwaller@cgocable.net.
       
       'Twas the fight before Christmas when all through the house
       Not a good deed was stirring, and Dad was a louse!
       Their mother was angry and loaded with care,
       'Cause the gift list was longer than ever this year!

       The children were nagging for gifts worth a ton,
       And Dad was convinced, "Christmas just isn't fun!"
       With Mom's loud complaining, and Dad mad at all,
       They loaded the car for the trip to the mall!

       They stopped first at Sears to buy Grandma a platter,
       At Wards Sis tried on jeans that confirmed she was fatter!
       They stopped at the ATM for some more cash,
       And saw their new neighbours with their Christmas stash!

       Hearts sank as they saw what their neighbours could spend,
       "We've got to buy more!" Everybody chimed in!
       When, what to their shopping red eyes should appear,
       But a sign with the answer to their Christmas fear.

       "Use credit, use VISA, use MasterCard,
       Just run up their limits, it's not very hard!"
       More rapid than eagles, the charges, they came
       And they whistled and shouted and called them by name.
 
       Now Nordstroms, now K-Mart, now Price Club and Kinneys,
       To Broadway, to Target, we'll finish at Penney's!
       To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall,
       Their packages piled up; they'd out-bought them all!

       As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
       When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky,
       So flew away hope of a Christmas of joys,
       Not a problem was changed by the gifts and the toys.

       And then, in a twinkling, Dad knew without doubt,
       They needed to know, "What is Christmas about?"
       That night in a dream he saw Bethlehem town,
       And a babe in a manger with thorns for a crown!

       And then what Dad saw brought the tears like a flood,
       Christ's back was all tarnished where lashes brought blood.
       A rugged old cross was his tortuous rack,
       As he shifted it's weight to his now bleeding back.

       His eyes, filled with burdens, 'twas nothing there merry,
       The thorns had no roses, the night became eerie.
       His dry thirsty mouth was drawn thin like a bow,
       And the beard of his chin was plucked out cruelly, and slow.

       The cross from his back held him high in his shame,
       And the soldiers encircled his death with a game.
       He had a kind face, in his eyes none saw hate,
       And he shook when they laughed at his horrible fate.

       He was dying for me, took my sins on himself,
       And I wept when I saw him, in spite of myself.
       A look in his eye, and the twist of his head,
       Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.

       He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work;
       And he took all my sin, and then turned with a jerk.
       "It is finished," he said. Death he willingly chose,
       Then glory to God, from the grave He arose!!

       Dad sprang from his bed, shouting what Christmas gives.
       "It's not all the gifts, but that Jesus now lives!"
       So you'll hear them exclaim, on their next Christmas night,
       Happy Christmas to all, who will keep Christmas right!
       
                   Robin Ross rross@rapidnet.net, Editor.


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Short Title: Jesus12

Originally published in:
The Durham Herald-Sun
Sunday, December 24, 2000
Section E, page 2

'Twas the Night Before ...
by Pansy Dodson of Durham

Twas the night before Christmas and everywhere
The music of carols filled the air.
Bright lights are shineing on the trees,
Shoppers are busy as all can see.

Gifts are wrapped in bright paper and bows,
The whole world is frantic and it is beginning to show!
Why all of this rushing? Why all of this fuss?
For Christ came to earth to visit us!

He came to die that we might live
A greater gift of Love, one cannot give...
Not wrapped in bows or paper fine,
But came to earth in God's own time.

So the greatest gift that we can give,
Is Love to those who have no will,
And to those we meet along life's way,
Then it will be Christmas every day!

Merry Christmas and May God's Gift of Love be Yours!

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Short Title: Jesus13

From: Stinkweed (Stinkweed@invalid.flash.net)
Subject: For Codeee 
Newsgroups: alt.support.chronic.pain
Date: 2002-12-19 09:28:22 PST 
 
  This is what Christmas is all about anyway!

Twas the night before Christmas 
(By Rev. Jon Prain) 

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town 
Not a sign of Baby Jesus was anywhere to be found. 
The people were all busy with Christmas time chores - 
Like decorating, and baking, and shopping in stores. 

No one sang "Away in a manger, no crib for a bed". 
Instead, they sang of Santa dressed-up in bright red. 
Mama watched Martha Stewart 
Papa drank beer from a tap. 
As hour upon hour the presents they'd wrap. 

Then what from the T.V. did they suddenly hear? 
'Cept an ad - which told of a big sale down at Sears. 
So away to the mall they all flew like a flash - 
Buying some things on credit and others with cash! 

And, as they made their way home from their trip to the mall, 
Did they think about Jesus? Oh, no - not at all. 

Their lives were so busy with their Christmas time things 
They had no time to remember Christ Jesus, the King. 
There were presents to wrap and cookies to bake. 
How could they stop and remember the One who died for their sake? 

To pray to the Savior - they had no time to stop. 
Because they needed more time to "Shop til they dropped!" 
On Wal-mart! On K-mart! On Target! On Penney's! 
On Hallmark! On Zales! A quick lunch at Denny's! 
From the big stores downtown to the stores at the mall 
They would dash away, dash away, and visit them all! 

And up on the roof, there arose such a clatter - 
As grandpa hung icicle lights - using his brand new step ladder. 
He hung lights that would flash. He hung lights that would twirl. 
Yet, he never once prayed to Jesus - the Light of the World. 

Christ's eyes - how they twinkle! 
Christ's Spirit - how merry! 
Christ's love - how enormous! 
All of our burdens - He'll carry! 

So instead of being busy, overworked, and uptight - 
Let's put Christ back in Christmas - and enjoy some good nights! 

By Rev. Jon Prain
Pastor, The Federated Church 
Avon, Illinois 
November 25, 2001


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Short Title: JesusStableAnimals

Date: Wed, 7 Nov 2001 15:46:16 EST
From: JaneillD@aol.com

ANIMALS at the NIGHT BEFORE THE FIRST CHRISTMAS NATIVITY STORY 
  
"Twas the night before the first Christmas and all through the stable, 
The animals were keeping as warm as they were able. 
After saying goodnight with baas, neighs and moos, 
They'd just settled down for a long winter's snooze. 

When outside the barn, they heard the latch squeaking 
As the door opened wide, groaning and creaking. 
And what did they see by the starlight's bright glow 
But a man and a woman, with a donkey in tow. 

The woman lay down on the straw the man piled, 
And the animals saw she was heavy with child. 
So they drew close around to ward off the chill air 
And drifted to sleep as they kept vigil there.   

They woke with a start at a cry that they heard,    
And saw a miraculous thing had occurred: 
On the hay lay a Baby, brand new to the world, 
his hair still damp, little fingers all curled. 

He was wrapped up in rags in His straw manger bed, 
And a luminous halo encircled his head. 
His smile was so peaceful, His eyes held them transfixed 
With feelings of hope, joy and wonder, all mixed.    

And the love that they felt...if they could share just a part, 
They knew it could change the whole world, heart by heart. 
They heard angels above announcing His birth, 
Singing, "Glory to God and peace on the earth!" 

Shepherds left the fields to come to adore Him, 
Offering gifts and bowing before Him. 
And the animals, too, knelt down in the hay, 
Knowing Love was newborn among them that day. 

As you ponder once more the Nativity story, 
may you wonder anew at God's goodness and glory! 


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Last Modified January 7, 2007